Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Day 63: Entertainment Show 11/26/07

"Entertainment Show" is a show put on by two fine gentlemen named Kevin and Travis, which has comedy, music, film and sketches and is a very good time. They were kind enough to invite me to perform 10 minutes for them. I was unkind enough to reward them with mediocrity.

I didn't get much sleep the night before, which has been an ongoing thing. I was the first comic up and had no energy. I didn't hook the audience and it was an uphill battle to get them on my page by the end of the set. I did, but once again I performed at a C and not an A, AND that happened on my 2nd big show in a row. Not coincidentally a lack of sleep has been a common factor in both sets. Fuck.

The rest of the show was great, I just wish I could've been a participant in the greatness. I have to get my shit together for these shows and be pumped and ready for them.

You know what, it's actually bigger than that. I've hit a comedy wall. I'm performing at substandard levels constantly, my jokes aren't landing as much, I'm having a hard time feeling it. Maybe it's because of the distance or I don't know what, but it's frustrating and making me question the whole thing again. I feel like I'm on the precipice again which could mean that I'm set up for another evolution, or it means that this is as good as I'm going to get, I hit the ceiling and I should cut out while the goings good.

I'm not going to cut out yet, but any "evolution" is going to have to come from me kicking my own ass. I can't rely on some divine intervention to get back into the swing of shit, and yet I have to get back into the swing of shit or fall back into comedy obscurity. Really the only thing keeping me afloat right now is being tied to Danielle and Solomon, who are universally loved. Plus they're black so I get street cred.

Goddammit I hope to give you another "Oh my God I fucking killed" post soon, for the both of us.

No, fuck that, I WILL give you another "Oh My God I Fucking Killed" post soon. Hope is for pussies!

Lesson: Sleep.

Back-up lesson: Kick my own ass.

4 comments:

Danielle said...

I feel like I've hit the wall, too. And, that's ok. This seems to be the time of year to rest, take a writing break, and refocus.

You're funny, you're going to get funnier. The up and down is part of it. When I went through my "writer's block crisis", I had to learn to have fun on stage again. I'm still not totally there, but that's ok. We've been pushing HARD, a little burnout is to be expected.

Giving up would be the silliest silly thing that you can do, and I attribute such thoughts to mania caused by exhaustion.

S, what I'm saying is that if you don't get some sleep tonight, I'm drugging your milk B.A.

solomon said...

You underestimate yourself Mr. Merriman. Fall in love with yourself again like the rest of us have fallen for you. You have carried yourself this far and I can gaurantee it that it has nothing to do with your tie with me and Danielle.

You got your bookings, you made people cry in laughter, and your name is being said by the community.

I love your face and if you ever speak the word "give up" in my presence, I will make you forget that I'm gay and remind you that I am 6'4" black man. Nobody wants that.

Get some fuckin' sleep.

Jake said...

Fear not lovers. I have no intention of quitting at this point. It's just a thought that flashes through at these moments. I'll have to fall a lot further than this to really consider something that extreme. I'm in it to win it for now. Appreciate the love though.

Kid Amiga said...

Sounds like you are where I
was a little bit ago, tired times
a billion. Take sometime to nail
some new stuff down maybe.

I'm sure trying to balance your time between the acting/comedy right now is hard. I'd think so anyway, either way, I can't wait to hear what you've got cooking in your head.

I forgot to say that I loved teen wolf 2005, maybe there's a little jake wolf 2007 inside waiting to get out.

-&rew

ps yeah that was kinda lame.